Saturday, December 13, 2014

Dorm Stories

I enjoyed my time at the “Ugly Sweater Party”. I didn’t win anything but I didn’t need to. I got the opportunity to spend time with some awesome people. The Meyers are excellent hosts!

As far as good dorm stories, yours were so good, I simply couldn’t think of with any. At least not until I got in my car and drove away, then I started to remember stuff. One story in particular I will share here.
It was Christmas Eve, I came back to the dorm. There were only 3 of us who did not go see family, Chris Wolfe, Paul Spinosa, and myself. Now earlier that day, Morris Henderson and I went to do our visitations. We were visiting with a Russian family who requested that we have dinner with them. We resisted at first but I (against my better judgment) gave in and Henderson followed and we ate with this family.

Now I’m back at the dorm and Wolfe got a turkey from work. He went online at the library and downloaded a recipe on how to “smoke a turkey”. He spent all Christmas Eve night smoking it. On Christmas Day I got up and he was finally done and he showed it to me. This was the blackest turkey I had ever seen in my life. I mean, leather jacket black. It was … buh-lack!

I didn’t make fun of him. In fact, I asked him if I could have a slice. He served me up a slice. Turned out the skin was just black. The flesh underneath was a healthy edible color and it was delicious!!! I know, right!? It had a wonderful smoked flavor! Then Brother Spinosa came downstairs and saw it. He clearly didn’t want any and was very skeptical of it.
Here’s where it got interesting…A knock came on the door. I answered it (I think) and it was Morris Henderson. The first words out of his mouth were,

“Are you throwing up yet”?

Naturally I said, “No. Why”?

He explained his suspicions. That we both ate with that Russian family the day before, therefore, if he was sick and projectile vomiting everywhere then surely I was too. I hadn’t. So he went back to his dorm.
As soon as he left and I closed the door, I went straight to the bathroom and projectile vomited myself! It was terrible!! It started coming out of both ends!! Worst Christmas Day ever!

So now I’m sitting in the living room of “The Coop” trying to catch my breath thinking, “Make it stop! Make it stop!!” Then I run to the bathroom again then come back.

Now I notice these two looking at each other and avoiding eye contact with me. Wolfe felt bad. He looked dejected and downcast. Spinosa looked worried and they kept speaking in hushed tones. Finally Spinosa spoke to me.

“Grant, did you eat some of Wolfe’s turkey”!?

Not sure where he was going with this I said, “Yes, I did”.


I actually had to laugh at this point but I explained to them both that I was sick for another reason, which I shared with Henderson that night. He was RIGHT! Eating with that Russian family made us both sick.

Neither Wolfe nor Spinosa could be fully convinced. Spinosa never had any of the turkey. Wolfe never cooked another turkey that I am aware of and when I do visitations and people offer me food my answer is emphatically “No thank you”!!!!!!