Life is a series of transitions. It is nothing more than an author writing a book. We are all the authors of our own lives. We have a definite say in which way our lives go. We choose. When we don't choose or refuse to choose, we choose still.
Chapters open in our lives and they close. You may have noticed that leaving high school, you had a realization that this was it. This is the end of the road. It is now time for me to enter adult life. We were novices who thought we knew it all.
This was me 17 years ago. The longer I live the more I realize that I am crossing threshold after threshold, ending chapter after chapter and I cannot help but wonder, what is it that I am going to publish about myself.
These words cannot be unwritten, edited for mature audiences, or banned from any reading list. It cannot be undone because it is the truth. The truth is the truth. Sometimes I love the truth and sometimes truth gets ugly and I dare not face it. Yet it stands there waiting for my acknowledgement.
One truth I am realizing now is this, I am concerned. Things are changing at such a rapid rate that I can not fathom the real speed at which I am traveling. As I look back at the pages upon pages, chapters upon chapters of my life written by my choices with the ink of purpose, forming characters of memories whose jots and tittles remind me of the good times and haunt me with the bad, I cannot help but wonder what is in the next chapter?
Will it be the final chapter? Will I attain novel status as did my grandmother? Or will the ancient field-hand claim me with his sharp scythe, whose blade cuts steadily and indiscriminately. What, I wonder, will the Great Critic of mankind say concerning what I have written?
Monday, May 16, 2011
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
The Lord, the Pleading Man, & the Game Room
I had a dream last night. I was with an Angel. He stood 5’ 7” with dark curly hair. He even spoke in a jovial, upbeat, and wise cracking manner. He seemed like any other guy with a job to do. I got to tag along as an observer. We met with a new arrival. When he spoke to the angel he was kind of defensive and quick to justify himself. “I lived a good life”, he said pointedly. The angel did not get mad or upset as the guy seemed to be the “in your face’ type. He simply told him, “Okay, we’ll see what kind of life you lived.” Then he warned, “I WILL find out too.”
Then the angel and I left. We reviewed the man’s life. It was not like watching a television show. It was like scene around us dissipated and reformed and we were in his life. We watched him live. We saw the good and the bad. We eventually watched him commit a crime against another human being. He had no love whatsoever! What a selfish thing to do.
After that last scene, I believe the Angel saw enough, or at least all He could stomach. We went back. We stood with the man in question in a room with white floors and walls. In this room were people playing all sorts of games. The games were strange to me and all different. Yet, I understood the premise of each one like an inherited knowledge from just being there. One of the games closely resembled chess only the pieces were red and white…possibly and the board was triangle shaped with raised half inch borders. Some people were winning, and some people were losing badly. The ones who were losing were loud and seemed to shout in unison, but over all they were happy.
The Angel sat with His leg crossed and His desk/table to His back. He was obviously in charge. The man stood in front of him waiting to listen. I stood off to the side of the Angel, still observing. He opened his mouth and spoke to the man. “You tried to deceive me!” He said pointedly. “No, I … let me explain” are the effect of what the man on trial said. “I SAW what you did!” The Angel said effectively shutting the man’s protesting and arguments down. He gestured to the people playing games around the room and said to the man, “Do you see all of these people playing here? You are EVERYONE who is losing. This is your sentence to be carried out immediately.” There was no joy in this decision nor it’s decree.
There was nothing else the man could say. He stood silent and non-argumentative. The Angel turned around to His desk. Though I stood there fearing, I asked, “Is he going to Hell now”? The Angel did not answer. Then I thought on the Angel’s words … “You tried to deceive me!” It was then that I realized that this was no mere angel. This was Jesus Himself. The man tried to lie to Jesus and failed miserably. Did he think he would get away? Did he think that God would just overlook his “indiscretions”? No matter what he thought, his beliefs were met with disappointment.
As I stood before the Angel who seemed to ignore my presence, I realized that one day, I too would have to stand before Him. I also realized that He would not overlook my “indiscretions”. My mind was flooded with this sobering thought and I think myself privileged to receive such a serious warning. My dream of the Lord, the pleading man, and the game room began to cloud over and I awoke in my bed … with my mind on Jesus and my heart in awe.
Then the angel and I left. We reviewed the man’s life. It was not like watching a television show. It was like scene around us dissipated and reformed and we were in his life. We watched him live. We saw the good and the bad. We eventually watched him commit a crime against another human being. He had no love whatsoever! What a selfish thing to do.
After that last scene, I believe the Angel saw enough, or at least all He could stomach. We went back. We stood with the man in question in a room with white floors and walls. In this room were people playing all sorts of games. The games were strange to me and all different. Yet, I understood the premise of each one like an inherited knowledge from just being there. One of the games closely resembled chess only the pieces were red and white…possibly and the board was triangle shaped with raised half inch borders. Some people were winning, and some people were losing badly. The ones who were losing were loud and seemed to shout in unison, but over all they were happy.
The Angel sat with His leg crossed and His desk/table to His back. He was obviously in charge. The man stood in front of him waiting to listen. I stood off to the side of the Angel, still observing. He opened his mouth and spoke to the man. “You tried to deceive me!” He said pointedly. “No, I … let me explain” are the effect of what the man on trial said. “I SAW what you did!” The Angel said effectively shutting the man’s protesting and arguments down. He gestured to the people playing games around the room and said to the man, “Do you see all of these people playing here? You are EVERYONE who is losing. This is your sentence to be carried out immediately.” There was no joy in this decision nor it’s decree.
There was nothing else the man could say. He stood silent and non-argumentative. The Angel turned around to His desk. Though I stood there fearing, I asked, “Is he going to Hell now”? The Angel did not answer. Then I thought on the Angel’s words … “You tried to deceive me!” It was then that I realized that this was no mere angel. This was Jesus Himself. The man tried to lie to Jesus and failed miserably. Did he think he would get away? Did he think that God would just overlook his “indiscretions”? No matter what he thought, his beliefs were met with disappointment.
As I stood before the Angel who seemed to ignore my presence, I realized that one day, I too would have to stand before Him. I also realized that He would not overlook my “indiscretions”. My mind was flooded with this sobering thought and I think myself privileged to receive such a serious warning. My dream of the Lord, the pleading man, and the game room began to cloud over and I awoke in my bed … with my mind on Jesus and my heart in awe.
Friday, May 6, 2011
Mom In Retrospect
She made me go places I didn't want to
& to say I'm sorry. She made me eat
food that I thought so nasty, and to
go to bed early.
She made me carry the heavy stuff,
after all I'm a strong man! Whenever
we crossed the street she made me hold
her hand.
I couldn't go to party's though I went
when she didn't know, but she just had
to ask the question, "Last night, where
did you go"?
It's half as cruel to beat me as to
make me get my own switch. “An attitude
adjustment tool”, I believe that was
her pitch.
Through all of life's ups and downs
retrospect reveals its ebb and flow.
I am the man I am today because of her,
you know.
If I should be a dad one day I’ll make
sure my kids understand, what a wonderful
woman you are, and you filled your role
in God’s plan.
& to say I'm sorry. She made me eat
food that I thought so nasty, and to
go to bed early.
She made me carry the heavy stuff,
after all I'm a strong man! Whenever
we crossed the street she made me hold
her hand.
I couldn't go to party's though I went
when she didn't know, but she just had
to ask the question, "Last night, where
did you go"?
It's half as cruel to beat me as to
make me get my own switch. “An attitude
adjustment tool”, I believe that was
her pitch.
Through all of life's ups and downs
retrospect reveals its ebb and flow.
I am the man I am today because of her,
you know.
If I should be a dad one day I’ll make
sure my kids understand, what a wonderful
woman you are, and you filled your role
in God’s plan.
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